Friday, February 10, 2017

Redemptive Pain

It has been almost a year since the constant hip then lower back pain began. At first I thought it was simply the usual random issues that those of us with Cerebral Palsy deal with.  For months I did the usual things but none of them helped. I finally went to the doctor and in short it has turned out to be arthritis in my lower spine. Not much you can do about that.

Over the course of these months I have also been doing a bit of wrestling with God:the common, all to human: "Why me?" "Haven't I had enough to deal with in my life?"

I share this because what has come to me in prayer is a very simple truth:

Chronic pain forces us out of ourselves.  

If we direct our focus inward, the way much Pop spirituality would have us do, then all the  brain is going to find is the pain. And if we do that for very long we can get lost in the suffering and emptiness.   But if we turn our focus outward, away from ourselves then we simply cannot think about the pain.  The human mind cannot focus on two things simultaneously. We can switch our focus back and forth between objects but we cannot focus on two things at once.

Jesus taught us by word and example to always be focused on others.  Even at the moment of his crucifixion, he was focused on the thieves crucified with him, he was focused on his mother and the beloved disciple.

We live in a culture that sets the "self" as the highest good. But if we are Christians we are always looking outward and upward. We kneel in our Catholic Church's and we look to the tabernacle and Christ present in the Eucharist. We kneel at the foot of the cross. We know "it is truly right and just, our duty and our salvation, aways and everywhere to give you thanks, Lord"

I have always loved Philippians 4:11 "For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstance." But God continues to show me new levels to what this simple phrase means.

All of us have selfishness and all us of experience pain in life. If we allow it, the latter can become the cure for the former, when touched by God's grace.